On Having Two Spontaneous People in a Relationship

For spontaneous people, like myself, life can sometimes be a lot of fun. We don’t waste our time making plans for something that will make us happy later; we do what makes us happy right now.

We allow life to come at us and deal with it as we go along. Not having a secure future doesn’t stress us out as much, because we’ll deal with it later. In fact, we’ll deal with everything later, those clothes on the floor, the dishes, our laundry.

My life.

My life.

Life is carefree and fun, but there’s a down side to that. For spontaneous people, we get very wrapped up in how we’re feeling or what we’re thinking in the moment. If an idea seems good right now it seems like it will always be good. I don’t think I need to tell of the possible risks involved in having that mind frame.

One of the situations I find this way of thinking to pose a particular challenge is in relationships. My boyfriend and I are both pretty spontaneous people. And yes, that means we don’t have to plan to go out to dinner or anything, we can just do something on a whim. Like for our anniversary dinner, we had been saying for about a month we were going to go someplace fancy. But when the night came we said, “Screw it, let’s go to Taco Bell.”

That can be a lot of fun, but it’s really not fun when we fight. When I get a feeling, I feel like it is absolute. It’s really hard for me to envision it passing or it being a phase. That’s why for a period of time I swore I was going to someday marry Johnny Depp.

Being so wrapped up in the present moment can make it feel like there’s no solution in fights. The only way out is to break up. Yes, we are one of those couples who has two hour break ups every few months. And yes, I know it’s super annoying from the outside. But from the inside it feels very real.

It’s easy to say, just have a level head, think about it in the grand scheme of things. I’m sure, if I could see the grand scheme of things, most arguments would seem totally pointless, but that’s easier said than done.

The key to fighting, for spontaneous people, would be to give ourselves a little time to cool off. Also easier said than done. When I get an idea in my head, I feel like I have to act right in that second. If I don’t, I get antsy. I feel this sense of vacancy and I feel like I need to act to get closure.

So, being spontaneous is a blessing and a curse. For positive thoughts and feelings, it brings wonderful moments. For negative feelings, it brings a swirling vortex that you can’t escape.

Does anyone else relate to this?

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/x1brett/5221511170/”>Brett Jordan</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

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2 thoughts on “On Having Two Spontaneous People in a Relationship

  1. I’m a spontaneous person and one time I was drunk at a festival (this was on the last day of the festival) and kind of passed out / couldn’t remember the last hours.
    I woke up on a bus to Denmark that I had hitched a ride with. The problem was that I didn’t have anywhere to stay in Denmark and not a lot of money. In the end it didn’t really matter, because I met a guy that had a couch I could use for a few days.

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