Have you ever seen those online lists that say a bunch of things that supposedly every girl does? I read them and maybe I laugh a bit and relate to some of the things listed. But, then I stop and think, “What was the point of genderizing this list?” Most of the things both men and women would do. Unless it was like, “Put tampons in our hoo-has.”
So, I decided to make a list of things, really girly things that you won’t believe guys do too.
1. Buy shampoo.
I know, crazy right? The shampoo aisle at the grocery store is all flowery scents and bright colors. I thought only girls bought shampoo! Nope. There’s a tiny little section with manly scents and pictures of hammers and fire on the bottles. Guys buy shampoo!
2. Eat chocolate.
But TV shows and movies told me that only menstruating women ever eat chocolate. All the commercials only show women seductively eating chocolate to slow music. I’m pretty sure guys eat chocolate too. I’m also pretty sure that sex doesn’t dictate taste bud structure in any way. Maybe not all guys do this one, but definitely all menstruating women do this one.
3. Enjoy petting cute and furry animals.
If this is true why do all women melt and say, “awww,” when they see a cute animal and men stand with a stone face, unfazed? I can’t answer that question. But I know petting dogs and furry animals releases serotonin in the brain, the same chemical released during sex. Serotonin is what makes you feel good and happy.
4. Judge themselves in the mirror.
Ugh. I’m so girly when I put on my clothes in the morning and look in the mirror. I might as well go the whole cliché nine yards and ask someone if my butt looks big. It’s actually not so girly. Every one is interested in how they look and how they are presenting themselves to the world around them. Guys can be self-conscious of their looks just as much as girls.
5. Have emotions.
Oh, god, us girls. We’re so funny with our crazy emotions, right? Men have emotions too? No. Every one knows emotions originate in the ovaries and then travel through the bloodstream up to our brains, tricking us into thinking they’re coming from our minds, when in actuality all women are bat-shit crazy. That’s the common myth. But, the truth is that emotions originate in the human mind (animal minds too). Emotions are an integral part of living. They are what tell us that there’s something special about consciousness. Without our emotions, we’d just be computers. Or maybe… men are computers. That’d make a lot more sense.
Lesson learned today, men and women enjoy a lot of the same things. Don’t let anyone fool you. Go out and pet some dogs.