My worst enemy, the thing I’m terrified of most is that stupid blank screen in front of my face. It has endless possibilities, but somehow I have to make that all happen? I have to translate all these jumbled up images and feelings that float around in my head into coherent words that simultaneously grasp my audience and make logical sense and follow all the rules of the English language?
Sometimes, most of the time, I have no idea how to make that happen. I have no idea what I’m doing and I have no master plans that will dictate what I do and write from day to day. I look back and I don’t remember making it happen. I don’t remember what has inspired me exactly or what caused me to be in my inspired mood.
Yet, somehow, it has still happened. I’ve written a lot of words, between this blog, my novels and screenplays, and all those other words.
The only thing I know that I’ve done is sit my ass in a chair (or more likely the ground or my bed) and told myself I was going to pound out a certain number of words or pages or scenes or whatever I decided that day. I get it done, no matter what, and then the screen’s not so scary.
It never stops it from being as scary the next day when I start anew. I spend some more time succumbing to the things calling me in, away from my writing: Facebook, Netflix, YouTube.
Each day I forgive myself for doing that, but I don’t let it tarnish the work that I have done. I’m human. I get distracted and I procrastinate. The idea of putting out my mind and soul into an art form that is near and dear to me is scary. But, each day I conquer it a little more.
I doubt I’ll ever fully conquer that stupid blank screen in front of my face, because there will always be a new Word document to open, until my hard drive is full, that is. I’ll always have new ideas to express. There will always be more words that I need to write.
Today, I conquered that blank white page by talking out of my ass about it. There’s no better way. Hey, it was on my mind. At least I’m genuine. I hope you have a great day and conquer some pages.
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/pixotropic/240632143/”>%5B piXo ]</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>