Ten Things Not to Do in the Snow

It’s winter and it’s cold. Every year seems to get colder. People take to Facebook and other social media platforms to vent their frustration. I’m from Rochester, NY, believe me, I’m no stranger to the snow. From all my years of living here, I’ve gathered a couple of tips on what not to do in the snow (all of which, I have done at some point).

  1. Do not run out in sandals, slippers, or really any type of shoe that isn’t boots. Maybe you’re just getting the mail, or maybe you’re running out to your car. However short of a time you’re going to be walking through the snow, you’re going to regret this decision.
  2. I know that snow bank doesn’t look all that big, but don’t try to drive through it. It’ll take a lot less effort to just reverse your car and go around it than it will to try to blast your car free from the clutches of the snow.
  3. Don’t brush your car off without gloves. Your hands are going to be very upset with you. While we’re on the topic of brushing your car off, don’t brush it off with your shirt sleeve instead of a proper car-brusher-offer (what are these called?). You will be very cold. Be an adult, get a car-brusher-offer.
  4. I know brushing your car off when it’s sub-zero temperatures is tedious to say the least, but don’t just start driving without properly brushing your car off. All the snow is going to fly off as you accelerate and you’re going to be a total dick to anyone driving behind you.
  5. Don’t drive anywhere if your windshield wipers are frozen and unable to move. Wait for them to thaw out. There is time, you impatient asshole.
  6. Don’t eat the yellow snow.
  7. When the sun is out for one day and the snow starts to melt slightly, don’t fool yourself into thinking spring is coming. I’m no Punxsutawney Phil, but I’m almost certain there’s like four more months of winter.
  8. Don’t go to Florida and brag to all your friends on social media about how warm you are. No one will like you.
  9. Don’t go to the beach.

    My trip to the beach.

    My trip to the beach.

  10. Most importantly, don’t live where it is below freezing temperatures for four months out of the year.

One thought on “Ten Things Not to Do in the Snow

  1. Pingback: On List Tuesday | Oshitbritt on Things

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