On Taco Bell

Today I want to give you some tips and suggestions for eating out at Taco Bell. I am essentially a Taco Bell guru. I know my way around their menu like the back of my hand.

I love that fire sauce.

I love that fire sauce.

Taco Bell is awesome. It’s cheap, quick, and delicious. They have every delightfully cheesy thing your creative mind can make up and more. My favorite part about Taco Bell, being a vegetarian, is how they’re so accommodating to menu changes. You can pretty much create anything you want out of the menu items. You can ask to put certain toppings in other dishes or leave out some things. Essentially, you can create fast food masterpieces.

Here are some of my favorite things to get when I go to Taco Bell:

  1. Fresco Bean Burrito. This one is self-explanatory. I don’t ask them to change it at all. I just ask for a lot of fire sauce on the side and I douse it.
  2. Crispy Potato Soft Taco. This one I also order as is. The pepper jack sauce pairs great with about four packets of fire sauce, or if you’re feeling wild, the salsa verde also goes well.
  3. Loaded Potato Griller. This I ask for without the bacon, for obvious reasons. I don’t usually put fire sauce on this one, because it over powers the cheese flavor. If I’m feeling extra spicy, though, I’ll use it. The loaded potato griller is a combination of cheese, sour cream, and potatoes, all my favorite foods.
  4. Doritos Locos Tacos. This is where I get fancy. I get this one when I’m feeling particularly daring. I’ll usually mix up whether I get the nacho cheese or the cool ranch, though I recently tried the fiery flavor, and that was fantastic. I replace the beef with beans and then ask for baja sauce on it as well. It costs an extra fifty sense or something like that, but believe, me, it’s worth it. Next time you order a Doritos Locos Taco, do this. You will not regret it. I think I want to create a petition for them to make a baja doritos locos taco. That would really be something.

The key to happy Taco Bell eating is to get creative. Use your imagination. Do you think some sauce would go fantastic on another taco? Ask for it, they will do it. And you’ll probably end up being right, because everything is good on everything else at Taco Bell.

One last suggestion: if you are turned off by Taco Bell because you get diarrhea, try ordering vegetarian items. Problem solved. You’re welcome.


photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/joeshlabotnik/3445872636/”>Joe Shlabotnik</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;


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