On Being Defensive

We go through life never knowing what other people are thinking and feeling, and so, it’s easy to hurt others. They are this outside force, separate from us. The repercussions of our words and actions go off, into something outside of us. We may forget that another person’s perception is even real.

We each do this. We each send out energy every which way, as we interact with others, but we don’t often stop and think about what happens outside of our own selves.

As our words and actions get incepted, some of them hurtful and often unknowingly, we each push away from others. We put up these walls around ourselves. We act like what others do doesn’t affect us, so that we can continue doing what we want, expecting it not to affect other people. Every man for himself.

This is what being defensive is. Maybe we’ve been hurt in our lives, so we learn to protect ourselves from that hurt. We cause the hurt to others and dehumanize ourselves.

"We pretend like we aren’t all interconnected and one small action affects everyone around."

“We pretend like we aren’t all interconnected and one small action affects everyone around.”

We do this to create an illusion that we are in control of our own fate.

If only we put down that wall, and surrendered to the fact that we are not, by any means, in control of our own fate, we could be opened up to a new kind of world. If we allowed ourselves to be okay with the idea that other people affect us and can harm us, we’d realize we affect and harm people too.

Instead of fighting fire with fire, we could lay down our weapons. We could show the person who hurts us how he hurts us and tell him that he shouldn’t stand for being hurt either. If he puts down his weapon too, neither of us would get hurt.

We could free ourselves from the burden of facing life alone. We are only alone when we put up those walls.

As much as you’ve heard about “survival of the fittest” or “self-preservation” and that it is in our nature to be on our own, it has never had to be that way. Men, with the same hang-ups as us created those philosophies, and we have the capacity to free ourselves from them. Love is much more powerful than self-preservation.


photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/an_untrained_eye/4005349125/”>an untrained eye</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;


One thought on “On Being Defensive

  1. This is beautiful and so true! I’m guilty of being defensive. I think it’s oftentimes a compulsion. I don’t know how to enable my friends to help me acknowledge when I’m being defensive. Maybe I should think of a buzz word haha.

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