On My New Year’s Resolution

There’s a certain mood to New Year’s Eve. We all become aware of the fleeting nature of time. We think about how it seemed like just yesterday we were welcoming in 2013 and now it’s gone yet again. We think about all the things we’ve accomplished within the year, and all that we wished we had. We think about how and with whom we spent our year.

The New Year is a checkpoint for us. When that clock strikes midnight and the ball drops, it is a moment where we put something behind us, but have not yet delved into what’s ahead.

New Year’s Eve has special meaning for me. A year ago, on this day, I began dating my current boyfriend. Neither of us planned to begin our adventure together on such an appropriate day, and most people looking on to our relationship would say we started dating long before that. To each other, though, we weren’t dating before that, because we had not shared our feelings with each other, even if it was evident to everyone around us.

On New Year’s Eve last year, we were in New York City together. We were moving things into my new apartment that I was to completely move into a few weeks later, without him. We had been growing close together for a while, but were separately dealing with the fact that we were to be apart soon.

That day was the first day that we expressed to each other how we felt. Our experience became real as the New Year came and we had to face what 2013 would be like for us.

In a way, our entering our relationship was like a New Year’s resolution, but it was a resolution shared between two people. Instead of being two entities, going through struggles separately, not understanding what the other was thinking or going through, we were to go through everything together.

We kept our New Year’s resolution and here we are, one year later, celebrating our one-year anniversary. I have pretty high hopes that we’ll make it to year two as well.

This year I’m not beginning anything new, besides a year. I’m not making any big changes or trying to really better myself in any conscious way. Instead of making a resolution to change, I’m going to revel in how I want to remain the same. It still serves as a checkpoint and a day of reflection. But, I want to focus on what I’ve done right this year, which is open myself up to another person and grow with that person. I don’t want to change. I look forward to the New Year, another of doing what I do.

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