On the Word “Dude”

I have noticed that men seem to use the word “dude” as an emotional buffer of sorts. When two guys are arguing or talking about something that affects them in any emotional sense, they will use that word every other sentence. It will be like:

            “Dude, do you have a thing for my girlfriend?”

            “What? No, dude. Why would you say that?”

            “Nah, don’t worry, dude. You’ve just been hanging out a lot lately and I thought I saw you check out her ass. Whatever, dude. It’s fine.”

            “Aw man, dude, I didn’t know my hanging out with her bothered you.”

            “Don’t worry about it, man. I just wanted to ask. Ya know, dude?”

            “Yeah, I totally know, man. It’s fine.”

            “Yeah, dude.”

            “Do you want me to stop hanging out with her, man?”

            “No, dude. It’s fine, man. Just wanted to be clear, dude.”

 

This conversation reenacted by two individuals who were honest, upfront, and not emotionally stunted would look like this:

            “Do you have feelings for my girlfriend?”

            “No, not at all. What made you think that?”

            “Well, you two have been hanging out a lot lately and I saw you admiring her behind.”

            “My strong sense of empathy told me that you might not be comfortable with the two of us hanging out. I’m so sorry for causing this tension in our friendship and your relationship. Perhaps you should talk to your girlfriend about it and the three of us can get this tricky situation sorted right out. As for looking at her bottom, you see, there is a difference between sexual attraction and caring for another. I do find your girlfriend’s rump quite aesthetically pleasing. I hope you will forgive me, as I cannot control that part of my mind, but I promise that, as a friend, and a person who respects women, I would never act on that animalistic urge. I hope that cleared the air.”

            “Thank you, friend, for your honesty. That clears the air quite a bit.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            “I’m so glad to have a caring, honest, and emotionally competent friend like you.”

           

It’s hard for everyone, no matter sex, to be that direct when dealing with emotional grievances, but I find it to be more so with guys. They replace honesty with pandering and words like, “dude” to diffuse an emotional situation. Honesty can also quell an outburst of emotions, but in a much more healthy way. There are more options than either having a meltdown or overusing the word “dude.”

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3 thoughts on “On the Word “Dude”

  1. Really great post and it is something I’ve never really thought about (which is rare LOL!). I think this is really important and, as such, will be tweeting it.

    I really enjoyed reading this and I think you’ve really hit on something.

    Thank you!

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